To Spank or not to Spank??

By Josh Reighley on January 13, 2006 1:56 AM | Permalink | Comments ()

Nothing seems to spark a debate on the web like a discussion of spanking.

I believe most people's problems are rooted in the fact that they do things that they know they shouldn't do, and fail to do things that they should do. Basically, they are disobedient. Most of my problems are rooted in my disobedience to my beliefs. I spend money frivolously, then I am broke. I procrastinate, then I am stressed. I neglect my wife, and then she is upset with me.

As such, I think that the most important lesson we need to teach our children is the value of obedience. If we have to use spanking to teach them that, I am not opposed to the concept. This concept of sticking to their principles is important enough that we need to use any available method to get through to our children.

Modeling obedience is much more important than enforcing it. If we discipline in anger, we are disobedient. If we fail to disciple, when discipline is necessary, we are disobedient. If we are disobedient to our beliefs, our children will likely follow our example. We may be able to bully them into compliance, but their heart will still be angry with us. We are hypocrites, telling them to be obedient, while we follow our own passion of the moment.

We need to do the right thing because it is the right thing. If we are doing the right thing in order to avoid the consequences, then we only do the right thing when the consequences exceed our tolerance for risk. Parents will not always be there to increase the consequences.

Introducing spanking into our relationship with the children raises the stakes. It deepens their understanding of obedience, but it also amplifies their understanding of our hypocrisy. If they see us lose our self control, they are not going to believe it is normal to control themselves.

I think we need to have a discipline plan, and stick with it in order to be truly effective.

The best way to have disciplined kids is to have disciplined adults. If you are undisciplined, then there are probably issues within yourself that need to be addressed in order to be the most effective parent you can be.

Comments

Nothing seems to spark a debate on the web like a discussion of spanking. I believe most people's problems are rooted in the fact that they do things that they know they shouldn't do, and fail to do things that they should do. Basically, they are disobedient. Most of my problems are rooted in my disobedience to my beliefs. I spend money frivolously, then I am broke. I procrastinate, then I am stressed. I neglect my wife, and then she is upset with me. As such, I think that the most important lesson we need to teach our children is the value of obedience. If we have to use spanking to teach them that, I am not opposed to the concept. This concept of sticking to their principles is important enough that we need to use any available method to get through to our children. Modeling obedience is much more important than enforcing it. If we discipline in anger, we are disobedient. If we fail to disciple, when discipline is necessary, we are disobedient. If we are disobedient to our beliefs, our children will likely follow our example. We may be able to bully them into compliance, but their heart will still be angry with us. We are hypocrites, telling them to be obedient, while we follow our own passion of the moment. We need to do the right thing because it is the right thing. If we are doing the right thing in order to avoid the consequences, then we only do the right thing when the consequences exceed our tolerance for risk. Parents will not always be there to increase the consequences. Introducing spanking into our relationship with the children raises the stakes. It deepens their understanding of obedience, but it also amplifies their understanding of our hypocrisy. If they see us lose our self control, they are not going to believe it is normal to control themselves. I think we need to have a discipline plan, and stick with it in order to be truly effective. The best way to have disciplined kids is to have disciplined adults. If you are undisciplined, then there are probably issues within yourself that need to be addressed in order to be the most effective parent you can be.