Differenciating between idealism and legalism.
Two of my favorite preachers tend to have very idealistic ideas about how families should run. And as far as I am concerned they are right.. Ideally, if you where to do it right the first time, that is exactly how families should be set up...
Mark Driscoll addresses the idea of stay at home dads for example:
Or Voddie Baucham's view on Public Schooling:
In both of these examples, I think that they hold up an ideal that is correct. Husbands should provide for their families. Parents should actively insure that their children are being descipled under the biblical worldview.
Now the challenge is that many of us fall short. We live in a fallen world, and we are being rescued from a fallen culture - one that doesn't necessarily prescribe to the same values as Voddie and Mark. The values being espoused should be something that we can aspire to, not something that we need to feel unchristian about because we are not fully sanctified yet. If you are 18 years old, just setting out on your own, don't go and aspire to find a Doctor wife so you can stay at home and play all day. Aspire to be a primary provider. But if you are a father of 4, and your wife has a long established career, give yourself some slack... Try to conform to the ideal as much as it is practical. Your situation isn't ideal, but few are.
Many folks tend to say "Oh, he is just too radical on that issue" and throw out the advice altogether. I do not think this is wise. When we are in less than ideal circumstances we need to understand that. We need to try to compensate for that, and when practical we ought to consider making sacrifices to get ourselves into a more ideal situation.
